Voices Behind the Crown: A Celebration of Black Hair

For Weave’s Voices Behind the Crown: A Celebration of Black Hair series, we asked Kemi Ajayi to share her hair journey. 

Are there any memories or experiences that shaped how you see or care for your hair?

I went natural at 17/18 after realizing that relaxing my hair was limiting the types of hair styles that I could do. I really love having options. Not being able to do a variety of styles with my relaxed hair made me realize that I preferred to go natural.

What was your relationship with your hair growing up?

From an early age, my mom would brush and comb my 4c hair and put it into little puffs. I used to hate when my mom did my hair because the experience was so painful. So when the time came, around 8 years old, when my mom started taking me to hair salons and got my hair relaxed, I welcomed it. From 8 to 17 years old, I would regularly visit the salon and get my hair relaxed–thinking somehow that relaxing my hair would “strengthen” my hair and make it healthier through the chemical straightening process. The most ironic thing about relaxing my hair is that this couldn’t have been further from the truth. I didn’t recognize that the pain, irritation, and inflammation that I would experience as a result of using relaxers was deeply unhealthy for my scalp and hair.

What emotions have been tied to your hair journey over time?

I went from hating how my hair looked in its natural state, to being truly in awe of how versatile my hair is. Honestly! Because my hair has tight coils, I have the ability to style it in so many ways. That’s a major reason why I went natural. When I was 17, there was a certain style that I wanted to do. I asked my hair stylist if she could do that style for me. She said it would be impossible to do it with my hair texture, at that time, since it was relaxed. And at that time, it hit me that having my hair relaxed restricted the type of styles I had access to. I never looked back and have been natural since. And shrinkage is such a fascinating part of having my hair in its natural state. It’s amazing that I can stretch my tight coils far and then they magically revert back to being short coils.

How do you currently wear or care for your hair, and why does that feel meaningful to you?

I generally keep my hair in protective styles like boho braids, box braids, etc. This is meaningful to me because I love the way that my face looks when I wear these styles. I feel like these styles really suit my face.

In what ways does your hair reflect who you are today?

I have a much better relationship and appreciation for my hair in its natural state now compared to when I was much younger. Occasionally, I will wear my natural hair out at school. The school I teach at has a predominantly Central American student population and when I wear my natural hair out, my students have strong reactions to my hair. A number of students have told me that my hair is either “odd”, “strange” or “weird”. On days like that, my hair becomes a big topic of conversation in class—like an “elephant in the room” .

As a child, this would have made me feel very insecure and uncomfortable. But I feel very secure about my natural 4c hair and brush off the comments. I’m more so worried about how my Black students feel when they hear their Central American classmates make those comments about my hair. I hope that they don’t internalize those comments and feel badly about their hair.

How does your hair connect to your identity as a Black person?

I have high racial self-esteem so I think my hair reflects that.

How has your hair served as a form of freedom, creativity, or self-expression in your life?

I love to experiment with protective styles–trying out different colors on a style I’ve previously done and/or trying out completely new styles like butterfly locs or faux locs. Sometimes, experimentation leads to some misses but I love to try a style out first before I write it off completely. And when I love a style, I might wear it out. I’m obsessed with my current style: boho knotless braids, bob length, with blonde highlights.

What are your hopes for the future of Black hair and Black beauty?

My hopes are that little Black girls are learning to love their hair for what it is.

Is there anything you want future generations to experience differently when it comes to Black hair?

As a kid, I generally got my hair braided in cornrows because that’s what my family could afford for me to get done at the salon. I would love for other protective styles to be more accessible and affordable to families who earn less. But I also understand that hair stylists have the right to charge what they think their work is worth.

I would also love for less Black girls to be exposed to relaxers at a young age. If someone wants to opt in to using a relaxer, I think they should be much older than 8 years old.